He was frustrated and upset. I couldn’t see his blossomed face shrink. He sure is lighthearted by nature but something had terribly made him disheartened today. Rajiv is the only animated person in our group and so no one can ever see him get disturbed. But fortunately for others and unfortunately for me I was the only person with him at that time when something amiss had occurred with him the same morning. I could see the pain in his eyes. And only then did I realize that something was troubling him for long. Till now he behaved as if he was the world’s best actor and hid his emotions underneath his jovial face.
We are a group of close knit friends who understand and respect each other thoroughly. But at that instance he behaved weird. I couldn’t comprehend him which made me look more troubled than him. He understood that it was his worries that made me restless and anxious to help him out. But he was mute. And that made things worst for me. In a completely empty classroom I was a silent spectator of his emotions. The silence was killing me. I couldn’t see him more saddened. I thought he needed some time for himself, to be left alone in that quite damp class room to ponder over his thoughts. After all he had had some rough times of this life just that morning.
I left the room. He didn’t react. I stood there by the corridor in front of the door staring aimlessly at the plush green trees. He stared at me intently instead. May be unconsciously the green patch of lively plants soothed my tiring eyes. But nothing seemed to pacify Rajiv. After having gathered some strength to talk he walked towards me. I could sense him come closer and closer. I knew this was it. He was going to narrate some of his most memorable though tear-jerking moments to me. I summoned courage in those few seconds to hear him out.
He came. Stood on my right. Took my hand in his hands. But yet again got lost somewhere deep in his thoughts. He stared beyond the green and I stared straight into him. Somehow I didn’t want him to speak. May be I still couldn’t draw myself together to get absorbed in his words. On the contrary I wanted this silence to elongate as much as it could. I was being purely selfish. He was my best friend. I had to help him out. I couldn’t do this to him nor to myself.
Minutes later he broke the silence. I secretly thanked God than he didn’t break into tears. His voice was deep. For the first time I took notice of the thoughtful tone in his voice. There was nothing mesmerizing about it but it’s just that how you ignore to take notice of minutest of the details of your loved once. He was the baacha. The most adorable and cutest little fellow.
He said, “Riya, promise me you’ll always be there for me whenever I want you. You’ll support me in my decisions when you find them practical and stop me from doing foolish things which I have been doing till now. I want you. I want you as my friend, as my best friend, to be always there for me. I know I’m being unreasonable but…..”
“Rajiv, do you even have a slightest doubt that I won’t be there for you whenever you call? Of course I was and will always remain your friend, your confidant. Do my words calm you a bit now?”
“Yes, they do.”
I had to be patient now. I had taken up some big responsibility on myself. I didn’t do that to just ease him out form the baggage he was carrying but to bring him back to his original self. I new him for 3 years now but it was as if I didn’t know him at all until today.
I knew this was difficult, very difficult indeed.
Ahh! What a day that was…...